Never question a Drunk!

[HONDO74]

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by
Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question.

Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question?....What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: The princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer.

But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one
tooth, smelled like sewerage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden, but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.

He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:

What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.

And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen, lay before him on the bed. The astounded
Lancelot asked what had happened.

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half
the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.

Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old
witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous, intimate moments?

What would YOU do?

What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR choice before you scroll down
below. OKAY?

Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave Arthur to his question,said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon hearing this,she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had
respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now....what is the moral to this story?

The moral is..... If you don't let a woman have her own way....things are going to get ugly

[jw_clarke54]

if you had been married you would have known this

[HONDO74]

if you had been married you would have known this

This June will be 50 yrs to the same woman

Dang right I know how to make it work. A few years ago she said to me one day " I have been working on changing you every since we have been married, you have not changed one bit. I am the one that changed" My reply was "You were not supposed to figure that out yet"

I feel sorry for you guys that don't know how to let a woman "THINKS" that she is getting her own way.

[Rufus T. Firefly]

How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?

Well, first you fill up the bathtub and then you offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person in question to empty the bathtub.

So, a normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup??????


No.
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.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A normal person just pulls the drain plug.

[HONDO74]

A normal person just pulls the drain plug.

A DRAIN PLUG ? I haven't seen a Drain plug in a bath tube in over 40 years.
Robert

[Rufus T. Firefly]

A normal person just pulls the drain plug.

A DRAIN PLUG ? I haven't seen a Drain plug in a bath tube in over 40 years.
Robert

Oh, you just take showers then,

[HONDO74]

Oh, you just take showers then,

Yep, That's the way us Missouri HILLBILLY'S do it.

[Rufus T. Firefly]

Oh, you just take showers then,

Yep, That's the way us Missouri HILLBILLY'S do it.

Heck, I thought that down there you'd just go get hosed off.......or dipped in a 55 gallon drum!

[HONDO74]

Heck, I thought that down there you'd just go get hosed off.......or dipped in a 55 gallon drum!

Rufus, You're getting a Missouri Hillbilly confused with a Redneck. But you don't want to let a Redneck hose you off. You have to Sequel like a pig. But you get to listen to banjo music in the background.
Robert

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uzae_SqbmDE

[rogruth]

Robert,

Easy for some of us to get confused.I was born in the upper Ohio River Valley and was usually referred to,when someone was being nice,as a river rat.
My wife is from eastern Kentucky and most then would call her a hillbilly.Our two oldest kids were born in the Bluegrass area of Kentucky and went to Ohio rather quickly.The oldest ,son,has spent two thirds of his life in the Poughkeepsie,New York area.Oldest daughter,except for about thirteen years has been in Kentucky.My two youngest girls were born in Ohio and the youngest has spent all but five years in the south,Kentucky and Georgia.The other one has been in the Air Force for twenty seven years and if asked where she is from her answer is usually "When?".Thirty one years of my life were in Ohio,ten in Kentucky and the rest in Georgia.

The point is for some of we-uns,us-ens it is easy for youse guys to confuse some of us.

[Rufus T. Firefly]

The point is for some of we-uns,us-ens it is ease for youse guys to confuse some.of us.

You left out they'uns,

[rogruth]

And ur'ins.

[Rufus T. Firefly]

And ur'ins.

Err.......that's what's on the wall in the men's rooms,

[Rufus T. Firefly]

Three older men sitting on a bench.......

First man: Every time I get up at 6 am and have to wait an hour to pee.

Second man: I understand. Every morning I get up at 6 am and have to wait 45 minutes for a BM.

Thrid man: You think you have it bad? Every morning I have a huge BM and a massive pee at 6 am like clockwork!

First man: Well, what's so bad about that?







Third man: I don't get up until 7 am.

[HONDO74]

Confused?

I become confused when I hear the word
"Service" used with these agencies:

> Internal Revenue 'Service'

> US Postal 'Service'

> Telephone 'Service'

> Cable TV 'Service'

> Civil 'Service'

> Federal, State, City, & public 'Service'

> Customer 'Service'

This is NOT what I thought 'Service' meant.

But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had
bought a bull to 'Service' his cows.

BAM!!! It all came into focus. Now I understand what all those agencies
are doing to us.

You are now as enlightened as I .