Sam Plank was driving down the road with his good friend, Tony Wood ...

[J. S. Bach]

...when his car was hit by a tipper truck full of gravel. The result? Tipper truck 1, Sam's car 0.

Tony found himself in the queue for the Pearly Gates, but Sam wasn't there. So, when his turn came he asked St Peter if Sam Plank was in The Book to go to Heaven. St Peter checked. "Sorry," he replied. "Sam Plank has gone to Hell."

So, Tony entered Heaven feeling rather sad that he would never see his good friend Sam again. However, after several days a message came over the DPA (that's Divine Public Address) system, saying that there was a telephone call for him. He put down his harp (playing it all the time in Heaven isn't required, but you are expected to do daily practice) and headed for the phones.

Funnily enough, it was Sam on the line. "Hi Buddy, how's things?" he asked.

"Fine up here," Tony replied, "but how about you down ..... there?"

"Not as bad as you might think," Sam replied. "We got a load of Social Workers down here and the Devil has really got into the whole 'Rehabilitation of Offenders' thing. You get put into situations that would have sent you to Hell to see how you cope."

"So what do you do?"

"Well, you probably remember that I was a bit of a one for the ladies, so I have to keep my hands off them. They've given me a disco to manage, so there's plenty of chances to meet women, but I mustn't do anything after. You should come for a visit. It's great."

Tony went to see St Michael (who was in charge of leave in Heaven), and asked if he could visit Hell to see his friend.

"You are allowed," replied St Michael, "but you've got to take your harp with you so everyone knows you're from Heaven and not a sinner. Report back to me when you get back and let me know how it went."

So Tony visited Sam in Hell and really enjoyed himself. When he returned he reported back to St Michael.

"I had a great time," he said. "It was really good to see Sam again."

"Good for you," replied St Michael. "Where's your harp?"

"What?"

"Where's your harp? The one you had to take with you to show that you were from Heaven?"

Tony thought about this, then sang "I left my harp ... in Sam Plank's disco!"

[sleepmac]

Dave, another good one!!

Dan Weinhold